


Will You Still Love Me?

by Trigger Finger (NatashaCole)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mentions of Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatashaCole/pseuds/Trigger%20Finger
Summary: Can love really last a lifetime? What happens when years pass, looks fade, and youth becomes a long lost memory? Does all of that matter if your true love happens to be God?





	Will You Still Love Me?

**Author's Note:**

> “I was wondering if you’d wanna make another tooth rotter fic using the song Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey?” I really did mean to make it super fluffy, but I listened to the song and everything got angsty real quick. Also, this is a lot longer than I in

You had met Chuck by chance. Just before the apocalypse had been diverted, back before the life that you led began to wear on you. You blamed the Winchesters really, or maybe even yourself. If you hadn’t been such a good hunter, perhaps they wouldn’t have called you to task you with the job of babysitting a prophet. Always willing to help them out, you accepted the job. If anything, you wanted to do your part in fixing this mess between Heaven and Hell.

Chuck was unlike anyone you had ever met before. And, not necessarily in a good way. In order to do your job while Sam and Dean dealt with the battle between Michael and Lucifer, you had to stay with Chuck. He was a slob. His house was a mess, his life was a mess, he was generally a mess. 

Somehow, you managed to not hate him; even if that meant that you eventually turned into a maid, a babysitter, and a personal chef. Once you had been able to clean up a bit, and convince him to wear pants and cut back on the liquor; staying with Chuck become somewhat comfortable. He commented you on how youthful and energetic you were to be able to keep up with his messes. You found that you enjoyed listening to him talk about his visions as he typed hurriedly at his computer after each one. The shock and heartache of actually watching him experience the visions had been difficult for you to deal with at first. He was small and weak and jumpy, so seeing him in pain was not an easy thing to be a part of. You hated the horrible headaches that he would get; the ones that sent him into convulsions and caused him to pass out for hours at a time.

Eventually, you learned to handle these things with ease. You and Chuck wasted days, usually never leaving the house while you watched him work. You cooked for him, you cleaned for him, you remained someone that he could turn to when things were a bit harder for him to deal with on his own.

You couldn’t say exactly what it had been that pushed your friendly relationship with Chuck into something else. Perhaps it was the way he constantly complimented you; always pointing out how pretty you were and how lucky he was to have a pretty woman pay attention to him. Or, maybe it was just that you had come to adore the man, despite the fact that he was such a mess.

There had been a night where you kicked back on the couch, watching him work as you usually did. He was typing frantically so not to lose whatever vision that he had just seen. You sipped on a glass of whiskey, watching and waiting.

When he had finished hours later, you made room for him to join you on the couch. He plopped down next to you and reached for the bottle of liquor, glancing at you to see if it was okay. You raised a brow at him, but nodded. You figured, he was always so exhausted and twitchy after having written a new prophecy, it might be good for him to wind down a bit afterwards.

“What did you see this time?” You asked, taking a longer drink of your whiskey.

“Nothing,” he mumbled. You watched him as he took a shot, reaching for the bottle again to refill. This time, he leaned back, glass in hand, as he took smaller sips.

“Not nothing,” you corrected him. “I can tell when it’s a bad one. You get tired and you start to sweat.”

“I’m just- I’m tired of being the one who has to see these things. It’s not easy.”

“I imagine it isn’t,” you responded, “but you’re doing good work, necessary work.”

“Yeah, I just keep telling myself that.”

“What was it?” You pressed again, wanting to know what should be expected. If anything, you might be able to give the Winchesters a heads up.

“It was you,” he replied flatly. He took a longer drink from his glass, eyes nervously darting away from yours.

“Me? You’re mistaken,” you laughed. “I have nothing to do with any of this. I’m just here to babysit.”

“You have everything to do with it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…” he trailed off. “At least, I don’t know yet.”

“Fine, don’t tell me,” you rolled your eyes, knowing for a fact that his vision was probably wrong if it involved you in any capacity as serious as he made it out to be.

“I just- I think it doesn’t have anything to do with what is going on currently. Eventually though, you’re going to play another part in the bigger picture.”

“You make no sense,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, most of this stuff doesn’t make sense.”

He didn’t indulge you any more that night. Instead, the two of you sat around, drinking and talking. Every time he went to refill his glass, he’d give you a questioning look and you’d nod at him. You didn’t like seeing Chuck drink himself into oblivion; it wasn’t healthy at all. But, occasionally, you figured it was okay for him to drink socially.

When you finished off what was left of the whiskey, you retrieve some beer from his fridge. You wanted to keep him talking. It seemed that the alcohol was helping him be a bit more open and strangely happy tonight.

He asked you about yourself; and you realized that the two of you had been living here for some time together, not really knowing much about each other. You told him that you were single; you traveled a lot for work, and you told stories about past hunts and how you met the Winchesters. He pointed out that he knew most of that. Apparently, you had been in many visions.

“Again, you play a much bigger role in all of this than you think you do,” he reminded you.

“What role do I play with you, Chuck?” You asked. You hadn’t meant for it to sound so… so flirty. But, here you were; drunk and sitting so close to the man that you had somewhat gotten to know after spending so much time with him. He looked up at you, those gorgeous blue eyes meeting yours. He looked more nervous than usual in that moment, and for some reason, you realized that you found it adorable.

“What do you mean?” You watched him as he let his tongue dart out between his lips and you wondered if you made him uncomfortable just because you were a living breathing woman sitting on his couch next to him, or if maybe it was something more.

“I mean, what do you think of me? Because, if I can be honest with you, I’m sitting here, looking at you, I mean really looking at you, for the first time ever; and I can’t help but to find you very attractive right now.”

“Maybe you should cut back on the booze,” he joked.

“Really, I want to know what you think of me,” you said again. You were unsure of why this was a discussion right now, but you wanted to know.

“Uh, well,” he fumbled through his words, “I think that you’re amazing for how well you take care of me. You’re also very beautiful, and too young to be interested in someone like me.”

You grinned at him, “You think I’m beautiful?”

He swallowed hard when he noticed you still staring at him, nodding his response.

“You’re attracted to me?”

“I am,” he choked out.

“Ever consider doing something about that?” You asked, cranking up your flirting a bit.

“Yes,” he said as he made eye contact with you again.

“Really?”

“Well, I mean… I’ve seen you before. In the visions. Maybe I know something that you don’t.”

“What’s that?” You asked as you moved just a bit closer to him.

“That eventually, you and I… “ He trailed off as you leaned closer to him. You didn’t know what was coming over you, but you realized just then that you wanted him.

“You and I what?” You breathed out. “We sleep together?”

Chuck let out a soft noise, something along the lines of fear and excitement.

“Something like that,” he replied.

“Well, we shouldn’t mess with prophecies,” you purred against his ear, “don’t you think?”

* * *

It had been the first night of many that you spent with Chuck in a different context than what all of this was supposed to be. He wasn’t your type at all, but you quickly found yourself falling in love with the man. Something had drawn you to him. Something had brought you together. Prophecy or not, you knew that you had to be with him. You knew that you had fallen in love with him.

After having spent another week at Chuck’s, both of you caught up in the suddenness of your love affair, you were eventually called away when the apocalypse had been avoided. Sam was gone; Dean, Cas, and Bobby somehow alive. For now, there was no real threat to anyone. Chuck was safe as well. He now had an archangel to look after him and you were no longer needed.

You left him, mostly so that the two of you wouldn’t raise eyebrows as no one understood what had gone on while they were out fighting and you and Chuck were left to your own devices. It had been a difficult thing to do, leaving him. But, you were being called away to keep hunting.

Over time, you managed to visit Chuck while you were on the road. Often, you went out of your way as you headed somewhere for a job; stopping to spend the night with him. You missed him terribly when you were away, but you also knew that it was for the best not to grow too attached.

Your time with Chuck became less and less.You were needed more often by the Winchesters, and this meant that you often lost contact with Chuck altogether for months at a time.

The worst of it was the discovery of a new prophet, Kevin. You had been there when he was located. You sat back as Dean questioned the kid. You had your questions as well, not the same ones that Dean had. Yours were mostly concerning Chuck and what this new prophet meant in terms of Chuck’s story.

The arrival of Kevin didn’t sit well with you. This was the time when you felt it necessary to at least call Chuck. For the first time in a long time, you had taken the opportunity to contact him, only to be met with nothing in return. No matter how much you called, he never answered. You had managed to slip away for a few days, explaining that you had a small job to do and would return to them when it was done. Instead, you went back to Chuck’s house for the first time in years. Just as you had been greeted with silence all the times you tried to call him; showing up at his place was the same. The house had been left disheveled, much messier than when you had last left it. It was as if no one had been there in years. Which made sense considering the fact that Chuck was nowhere to be seen. He was gone.

You didn’t know what had happened to him. You had no clues as to where he was or if he was safe. You didn’t dare bring up your concerns about him with anyone else, especially since you were not meant to form a relationship with the man in the first place.

It wasn’t until another job that required you to help track down potential prophets who may or may not have been kidnapped by Crowley, that you learned something that you didn’t want to know. Castiel suggested that Chuck was dead. There could be only one prophet at any given time. Since Kevin was obviously a prophet, it only made sense that Chuck no longer existed.

You had forced yourself to hold back your emotions as you listened to him speak. You didn’t want to believe it, but even you understood that it was the most reasonable logic. You had promised to keep him safe, especially once you had realized that you had fallen in love with him. Yet, you had failed him.

You left the Winchesters shortly after. You couldn’t handle being around them or the new prophet. Every time you looked at Kevin, you hated yourself. It wasn’t until you were gone, far away from them and back home that you allowed yourself to cry. Technically, it wasn’t your home. But you and Chuck had sort of built a life in his house while you had been there with him. The memories were difficult and the pain never did go away.

* * *

Years later, you were called upon again by the Winchesters. You had moved on the best you could, losing yourself in the job. You lost contact with them for a long time. When The Darkness became a bigger problem than they could handle on their own, you decided that you could help them. Dean made the point of reminding you that this was unlike anything any of you had ever dealt with in the past. You told him that you had nothing to lose. You were so far lost in your self-hatred for failing Chuck, you didn’t really care if this could mean the end. The scars you bore now from years of reckless hunts where you may or may not have gone in, guns blazing, not giving a shit about whether you died or not; were constantly present. You weren’t the same person anymore, and for now, you were willing to risk your life.

Dean wasn’t wrong about The Darkness. Never in your life had you come across something like this. Even worse, Lucifer was free. You decided to task yourself with hunting Lucifer down when you all learned that he was inhabiting Castiel’s vessel. That had been your part in all of this. For some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to get involved with Amara. Something told you to stay away from all of that. But, your hunt for Lucifer seemed to be a failure. You couldn’t even keep things together to be able to track an angel. Maybe you were just getting too old for all of this. Whatever it was, you weren’t the great hunter that you used to be. So, when you continued to reach dead-ends in that mission, you returned to the Bunker, empty handed and feeling worthless.

In the meantime, Sam and Dean had found a case in Idaho that they needed to check out. Maybe it had something to do with The Darkness, so they went on their way, leaving you at the Bunker to continue to mope. You were worthless in this situation, and all of this seemed to be dredging up old memories and feelings about Chuck.

You had been unaware that Sam and Dean had returned to the Bunker days later. Communication had stopped while they were on the job, and you assumed you’d hear from them once they did what they had to do and were ready to come home. On this particular day, you were sprawled out on Sam’s bed, feeling sorry for yourself and drowning your sorrows in a Netflix binge, since Sam’s room was the only one with a TV. Dean had burst into the room just as you were in the middle of an episode of The Gilmore Girls, looking wide-eyed and confused.

“Hey, I didn’t even hear you guys get back,” you said, turning back to the TV.

“Yeah, about that,” he began, “there’s someone here that you should probably meet.”

“Who?” You asked curiously.

“You’re gonna have to see it to believe it, Y/N.”

You paused the TV, standing up off the bed as you tried to comb your fingers through your hair. You weren’t always the best looking most of the time, not since it had been revealed that Chuck was gone. After him, you just let yourself go. Right now, you were in sweats and an oversized t-shirt; combing out knots in your hair that hadn’t been washed in a day or two. You figured you should try to be somewhat presentable for whoever it was that had Dean in such a panic, but apparently there was no time for that. You followed Dean from the room, padding down the hall in your mismatched socks.

“What is this all about?” You asked as the two of you rounded the corner into the war room. Just as you looked up, you paused. You felt your heart begin to race, blinking your eyes as you wondered if they were playing tricks on you. What stood before you didn’t go away though. You looked at him as you felt a plethora of emotions all at once. You were terrified, pained, sad, happy, and confused all at once.

“Chuck?” Your voice came out soft and broken.

He smiled at you, that same stupid smile that you had fallen in love with so long ago. It couldn’t be him though. This wasn’t real. You turned quickly to face Dean, now overcome with anger.

“What is this?” You shouted. “Do you think this is funny?”

“Y/N,” the man who looked like Chuck started, “I understand that you’re confused-”

“No!” You turned back quickly to him. You felt yourself begin to cry; still angry and suddenly in so much pain. “You’re dead.” You began to sob just then as the words came out. You had never actually said those words out loud. You had never verbalized the fact that Chuck had died, even if you knew it had been true.

“I’m here, Y/N,” he explained. He held his hands out as if to show you that he was in fact standing right in front of you.

“This isn’t real,” you cried, “please don’t do this to me!”

You stared at him, trying to make sense of what you were seeing. He had to be a shapeshifter, or maybe you were caught in a dream.

“Y/N, you need to calm down,” Sam began as he took slow steps toward you, “there’s a lot that needs to be explained.”

“Explain to me why my dead boyfriend is standing in the Bunker!” You yelled.

“I wasn’t-” Chuck, or the man who looked like Chuck started to speak again, catching himself as if he were considering the best way to phrase things. “I wasn’t dead. I was never dead… just- gone.”

You continued to cry, somehow feeling worse that he had told you this. Had he faked his death? Had he left you on purpose and let you believe that he was gone?

“How do I know this is you?” You asked. “How do I know that this is real?”

“It’s me, Chuck.” He replied with another smile. His blue eyes studying yours. “Remember how you stayed with me to protect me? You cleaned my house. We drank whiskey and you hit on me and we kissed. We fell in love.”

You felt yourself begin to calm down a bit as he spoke.

“You went out of your way during hunts to come see me so we could be together. It’s me. And you have no idea how happy I am to see you again.”

“I believed you were dead,” you whispered. Calm or not, you were still pissed. “You let me go on… for years… thinking that you were dead. I blamed myself for not protecting you like I was supposed to.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I never meant for you to have to live with that guilt.”

“You knew what I was going through, and you let me believe it anyway?”

“I had to,” he explained. “I already told you, your role in all of this is a lot bigger than you could ever imagine.”

“Let me guess, the prophecy that you saw that night…”

“Yes, I told you it would all come into play eventually.”

“So, you only came back because of that?”

“I came back for a lot of reasons,” he explained.

“What? To tell me what an dick move that was and that you’re sorry? Or did you come back to let me down to my face?”

“I’m here to apologize, yes. I’m also here because your story is beginning.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N,” Sam cut in, “there’s something that else that you should know.”

You eyed Sam angrily. _What was going on? Why did everyone look so serious?_

“Tell her, Chuck,” Dean said. He gave Chuck an unimpressed glance, as if he knew that the next thing that would be said was going to disappoint you.

“I, uh… um. So, I’m not exactly who you think I am…”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve maybe been lying to you for a long time. I’ve been lying to all of you.”

“Chuck is God,” Dean said suddenly. “You weren’t going to just say it, so someone had to.” He continued to eye Chuck disapprovingly.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Right. Yeah, he’s God,” you smiled, “then that means I was God’s babysitter. I basically protected God during the apocalypse.”

You watched as Chuck made a ‘you’re not wrong’ face as you spoke.

“You’re joking,” you added.

Before you could say anything else, Chuck held up a hand, snapping his fingers and you were enveloped in blinding white light. When the light faded, you adjusted your vision, noticing that you were no longer in the war room. You and Chuck now stood across from each other, alone, in one of the bedrooms of the Bunker. Somehow, the man had managed to transport you somewhere else, and you stared at him in disbelief.

“What was that?” You asked.

“I know this is hard to believe,” he began as he stepped closer to you, “because I’ve been gone for so long. But, I’m back, because humanity needs me. The Darkness, Amara; is my sister. She’s focused on destroying everything that I created, and I was going to let her do it. That is, until I was reminded of you. I can’t allow her to destroy the one creation that I care the most about.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you. I’m supposed to love all my creations equally. But, you… you are the most important thing to me.”

You sat through the entire story. You listened as Chuck, or God, told you everything. It had always been him. God, hidden behind the guise of Chuck, who would eventually become Chuck in a sense. You were supposed to believe that you had fallen in love with God, that you had been with God, and that you had been heartbroken by God. It was a lot to wrap your mind around.

By the end of the long conversation, you still felt that you had been lied to; because essentially, it had all been a lie. Whether or not Chuck had been God all along didn’t matter. You had been abandoned by him. You had been wounded and nearly killed on countless hunts, the world had turned you into someone else now. You weren’t the same as you had been all those years ago when you were younger and in love. Chuck wasn’t the same either obviously.

He explained that it was your turn to have a part in this story. He talked about the visions he had experienced as the prophet, visions that were really just what an all-knowing being would know anyway. As he spoke, you still felt betrayed. You felt as if that entire relationship had been a lie.

“It is and always has been your role to protect me, Y/N.” You listened as Chuck droned on with the prophecies still. “Just as you did back then, it’s what you do now.”

“Why does God need protecting?” You asked, a hint of disbelief in your voice.

“Because she is my equal. Whatever powers I have, she has as well. There is only one thing that can drive out darkness.”

“Light,” you said softly. It had been on your mind for a long time. You understood that much for some reason. Darkness is permanent, light just makes it go away.

“Yeah, you’re getting it,” he said with a smile.

“Isn’t God the epitome of light?”

“I suppose I am,” he replied. “But even I am not enough against her.”

“So, what is my part exactly?”

“Love is the greatest form of light there is.”

“And, what makes you think that I still love you?” You asked sharply. He looked at you, almost hurt by your words. But, if he really was God, he’d know that you were bluffing. Even if you were confused by all of this, you knew the second that you saw his face again that the love you had for him had never gone away.

“Then, I suppose there’s a bigger chance that we all lose this battle.”

* * *

The following days were not easier. You spent a lot of time thinking and wondering if this could all be happening. A new prophet was introduced, which made sense since you knew Kevin was gone. The presence of his spirit in the Bunker had been proof enough of that. The hardest pill to swallow was watching as Chuck released his spirit, prompting you to take into consideration that perhaps he really was God.

Chuck mostly hung around the Bunker, giving you space and lounging around. For an omnipresent being, he sure ate a lot and drank a lot of coffee. He also sang loudly in the shower, using up all the hot water.

“Will you please put on some pants?” You asked. You were sitting with Chuck at the table, frustrated as you watched him go through Dean’s computer while he ate Chinese takeout. Just saying those words gave you a feeling of nostalgia. You used to tell Chuck to put on pants all the time.

“Why? It’s comfortable,” he argued. “Besides, no one else is around.”

“I’m around. I don’t want to see you in your boxers.”

“You used to see me in a lot less,” he replied with a wink.

“Oh God,” you groaned as you pressed your face down against the table.

“Yes?” Chuck replied.

* * *

Eventually, you began to grow more comfortable around this Chuck. It really was as if the reveal of him being God hadn’t changed anything. He was still… Chuck. Only now, he had the title of God.

Lucifer returned, still in the vessel of Castiel; and you couldn’t help but relive the feelings of disappointment in yourself upon learning this. The one job that you had, and you had failed. You watched as God revealed his failures to Lucifer finally. He had failed as a father, and he admitted that. He had turned to face you when he admitted that he had failed as a lot of things. You felt your heart sink just listening. Even as God, he still had his faults. But, it also seemed as if he still had some sort of humanity.

He had gone to you that night; popped up out of nowhere in your room as you were changing.

“Jeez,” you huffed as you quickly put your shirt on, not wanting him to see you nearly naked for some reason.

“Sorry, I just- I mean, we’ve seen each other in a lot more intimate situations than this.”

“It’s different now,” you reminded him.

“I have to ask,” he began as he sat at the edge of your bed. You stood in front of him, not wanting to cross any lines here. “Did you really stop loving me?”

“You’re God,” you pointed out, “shouldn’t you know?”

“I make it a point to not invade people’s minds. It’s not really fair.”

“I loved Chuck,” you explained. “I still do, I probably always will. I don’t know that I’ll ever be okay after all the time I spent believing he was dead. But, you- you’re not Chuck. You’re not MY Chuck.”

“I am though. It’s always been me.”

“I have a hard time believing that you… God… didn’t just show up and take over his meat suit.”

“I’ve been Chuck for a long time. So long that I sort of lost myself in who he was. When you came into my life, like I knew you would, I knew I couldn’t tell you the truth then. Things had to play out a certain way, and even I couldn’t interfere with that.”

“I just want my Chuck back,” you responded. You felt the tears well up again. It was hard enough to look at his face and think back to your life with Chuck. It was a lot harder to understand the possibility that God and Chuck were always the same person the entire time.

He stood up, moving toward you and pulling you into an embrace. You began to cry again, unsure if you should let him hold you. It wasn’t until you recognized the scent of his skin, the warmth of the embrace that you had come to know; that you allowed yourself to return the embrace. You held him, taking in the comforting familiarity that you were experiencing now. If this entire situation hadn’t been so fucked up, you’d believe that this really were Chuck. You might believe that this had always been the same person.

“I promise you, it’s me. Don’t let all of this make you believe otherwise, Y/N. I’m me. I’m still your Chuck.”

You pulled away from him, forcing yourself to look him in the eyes. Those eyes. Those deep blues that you had lost yourself in so many times. You reached a hand up to his face, letting your fingertips linger as you traced along his beard. You watched as his lips turned up into that crooked smile that you loved. You felt his hands, soft against your arm now.

For the first time since he had returned, you thought that maybe it hadn’t all been a lie. But, you wanted to know for sure.

You guided his face toward yours, leading him down so that his lips were close to your. Your breath hitched as you lingered there for a moment, ghosting your lips against his briefly before pressing them against his mouth. You didn’t even have to think. You didn’t have to question anything. He kissed you back as you pressed yourself against him heatedly. This was him. There was no question anymore. No one could ever kiss you the way Chuck used to.

You stayed like that for some time, kissing him as if you were afraid to lose him again. Both of you pulled at each other, trying desperately to bring the other closer. You tasted his mouth as you cried; only now, you were crying simply out of relief that he was here.

* * *

“I love you,” he had whispered against your ear as you lay in bed together. You tried not to think about the fact that you had just had sex with God. In fact, you were trying to forget that this had happened before without your knowledge. You focused on Chuck only. Your Chuck. The awkward, wreck of a prophet that you had fallen in love with.

“You loved me then,” you replied. “You loved me years ago. Back when I was younger and beautiful.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s been a long time. Here I am; I’m getting wrinkles, and I found a gray hair the other day.” You moved to try to cover the scar on your cheek that you had earned from a particularly vicious vamp during a raid. “I’m not the girl I was seven years ago.”

“You’re still beautiful,” he replied as he moved your hand from your face. He brushed his thumb along the scar, moving to focus on some of the other scars that adorned your body. After so many years, you just stopped caring if marks were left. You figured you had no one left to impress.

“I’m getting older. And here you are… you look exactly the same as the last time I saw you. Younger even.”

“Perks of being God,” he chuckled.

“So, you’ll love me for now,” you continued, “while I’m still sort of young and pretty. I’ll just keep aging, and what? You’ll stay just like this?”

You touched his face again, noting that he definitely looked younger than he did seven years ago.

“I will always love you,” he replied. “And you will always be young and beautiful to me.”

* * *

You and Chuck had found each other again. It had taken a lot of warming up to him on your part, and Sam and Dean generally gave you a hard time about being in a relationship with God. However, there were bigger things to worry about. You were meant to protect him. When the showdown with Amara came to pass, you were supposed to play your part, even if none of you really understood what that part was exactly. Chuck just said it was about love. Love was the greatest light.

The entire thing left you with an uneasy feeling. You were there when Amara was confronted and attacked. Something in you felt pained for her. Obviously she was hurting and angry. You weren’t sure if this entire plan was the way to go. You had to watch as she retaliated against Chuck; draining the life from him until he was broken. She had left him alive, just barely, so that he could witness the wrath that she intended to unleash.

When it came time for Dean to deal with her, having been filled with souls to become a human bomb, you felt as if you had to intervene somehow.

“She’s angry Dean,” you explained when you had him alone. “She feels abandoned and alone.:

“Yeah, and she’s a bitch.”

“She’s also his sister,” you pointed out. “I don’t even think Chuck likes this idea.”

“Chuck is dying,” he replied flatly. You sighed out loud, fully aware of the situation. You were going to lose Chuck, again. This time for real, and you knew it.

“He doesn’t have to. I just- I feel like- if you face this with a bit more caring, things don’t have to end badly for anyone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He told me, a long time ago, that my purpose would come. He said that the time is now. I don’t really know what the point of it all is, but I feel like, I feel like I need to tell you to try to talk to her instead of trying to kill her.”

“You want me to reason with The Darkness?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that.”

* * *

You sat in the bar with Chuck, Sam, Cas, Rowena, and Crowley. It was quite the sight, being in such close quarters with some of the beings you had always been accustomed to killing. Now, they were the least of your worries. Now, you were holding Chuck, who was dying slowly in your arms. Sam was at least helpful, checking in on you and speaking softly to Chuck.

“You know, we, um…we need you to try and hang in there just a little longer.” Sam explained.

Chuck nodded, “I know. I’m trying.”

Chuck was in immense pain by now and you weren’t sure how much longer he had. You wiped sweat from his brow, shushing him as he groaned in pain. It all reminded you of how you would comfort him and take care of him after the visions.

“I’ll get you some water,” you offered, moving away from him, hoping that it would help even though you had no idea what you could do that would actually help.

Before you could think, he was gone again. You had turned your back for a moment; turned to face him again, but he wasn’t there. He was gone. Disappeared into thin air. Your heart broke when you realized you had lost him, again.

The rest of you stepped out as the light from the sun began to return. Even in your devastation and panic, you knew that Dean had succeeded in killing Amara. For that to happen, God would have to die as well. Balance and all. You had hoped that Dean would take your words into consideration. You weren’t sure how you knew, but maybe showing a bit of love would have helped.

“He did it,” Crowley said, sounding just as shocked as the rest of you felt.

“He bloody did it,” Rowena muttered.

“And Dean?” You heard Cas ask the words that everyone was thinking. You however, were also wondering the same about Chuck.

You were surrounded suddenly by blinding white light again, the same as when Chuck had transported the two of you to your room. You felt a calmness wash over you, and you waited.

When the light dissipated this time, you found yourself in a garden. You turned to see Dean first. Then you smiled when you saw Chuck; still alive and returning your smile with one of his own. You only began to worry when you noticed Amara. She was still alive.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Dean said. “I took your advice. You were right about all the stuff about caring and love or whatever.”

“I knew you could figure it out,” Chuck added. He moved away from Amara, approaching you and wrapping his arms around you. “Like I said, love is the greatest light to drive out darkness. I have to admit, I didn’t really consider using it in the way that you knew how.”

“I just figured, she was angry with her brother,” you said as you glanced over to Amara, “you fix anger with love.”

“You saved me again,” Chuck said. “You always save me.”

He leaned in, kissing you passionately for a long time before he let go, returning to Amara’s side.

“I think we’re just gonna go away for a while and…” Chuck began. You cut him off.

“You’re leaving me again,” you stated, again feeling tears well up in your eyes.

Dean reached out, grabbing your hand to stop you. “Hey, yeah. Family meeting. We get it. Right, Y/N?”

Dean and Chuck exchanged more words, almost as if they were avoiding the questions that you had. You listened as Amara offered Dean a gift, and you wondered why you were being ignored.

“Chuck,” you said, panicked as you realized that he meant to go away with Amara. “Please.”

“Y/N, I need to fix this,” he said, referring to the mess that the siblings had gotten into.

“You left me once,” you explained, “I don’t know if I can handle losing you again.”

“You’re not losing me. I’ll always come back to you.”

“When? Ten years from now? Twenty? You’ll come back when I’m old and useless and then you’ll realize you don’t love me anymore?”

“That’s impossible,” he said as he smiled softly at you. “Trust me, to me, you will always be young and beautiful. And I will always come back for you.”

He took Amara’s hand, and the two of them disappeared into swirls of light and dark smoke; both of them, floating up into the sky until they were gone.

You blinked rapidly, trying to understand what you had just seen. You breathed out, angry and sad once you realized that he had really left you again. Dean grabbed your hand as both of you were caught up in the light again. This time, you didn’t know where you would end up. All you could think about was the next time you would see Chuck again, or if you ever would for that matter.


End file.
